Mindy’s Face Your Fear Challenge

Anyone who knows me usually figures out pretty quickly that I enjoy running, although I’ve never really been that great at it. I didn’t run in high school or college. In fact, I didn’t even start running until sometime in college, but just in an attempt to get some extra pounds off and at the time I was also looking for an excuse to get out of the house from a not great situation and get into some sunshine. I fell in love with it quickly and now I find my long runs to be deeply satisfying for their problem-solving and thought-provoking capabilities. I typically don’t run with headphones so I can sort out anything I’m trying to work through. There’s nothing out there but you and your thoughts, so it’s a good time to brainstorm and figure things out.

When I first brought up this challenge to my Elleebana USA HQ team, it was met with “your challenge can’t be a run, because you already like to do that!”. Well, that’s true, but I’ve never taken on something like THIS. College was a long time ago, when I first started running (ok, like 20 years ago). I’ve been running on and off since then, dabbling in distances of 5K’s, 10K’s, Half-Marathon’s (13.1 miles), 25K’s, and the Marathon (26.2 Miles/42.2K). In 2005, I came across a book called Ultra Marathon Man, by Dean Karnazes. I remember being completely mind-blown that there was race distance beyond the marathon, called “ultra marathons”, and that people would run all day, and all night, and into the next day, all in one go, on no sleep, to complete distances like 50K (31 miles), 50 miles, 100K (62 miles), and 100 miles (160.93K), such as the world-renowned UTMB in France, Western States 100. There are even famous races like the, Badwater 135, the Moab 240, and the Cocodona 250 that even further test the limits of human endurance. These were distances that I couldn’t wrap my head around. I was completely intrigued by what the body and mind were capable of, and thus, the seed was planted.

I learned about ultras when I was 25. It has been in an out of my mind as a bucket list goal ever since. Then in my mid-30's, I made it a goal of running an ultra by the time I turned 40. Each year came and went. I had little kids. I opened salons. Next year I would have more time to train. I need to get 10 (or 20) pounds off first so I don’t hurt my knees. It rained a lot this year. I have plantar-fasciitis. I should learn to stretch more first. Next year I’ll do it. Next year was always “the year”, for over 10 years.

Then I turned 40 locked down in the height of COVID and again thought, there goes another year of not accomplishing it. A goal not achieved. A bucket still listed. Here we are about to turn 43 in May, still haven’t done it. I definitely haven’t lost interest. I subscribe and loyally listen to half a dozen ultra and trail running podcasts. I continue to read and re-read every ultra-running memoir and biography that I have ever found. I subscribe to YouTube channels that document people running these races, watching them struggle and suffer through them, barely surviving, hallucinating, puking. You’d be surprised how many ultra running documentaries there are. I think that’s how go-pro stays in business, I’m sure of it.

Everyone needs a hobby, right? I grew up with horses, so this hobby is definitely cheaper. I do like having a hobby. We all need something that we can use to release stress, anxiety, and hey if it helps our hearts and our bodies to stay healthy at the same time, added bonus.

I can come up with a lot of “why’s” for running really far:

1. I like spending time in nature
2. I want to feel proud of myself
3. I want to be a role model for my kids
4. I want to feel alive while I’m still alive
5. I like feeling healthy
6. I want to run for those who don’t have the option, mentally, physically, or economically/culturally.
7. If I am not running, I would probably be sitting, eating, and drinking, and this feels like a better option
8. I truly want to know if it is possible for ME to do this, I have no special skills that tell me I can or should be doing this
9. Yolo
10. Fomo

So then WHY haven’t I just signed up and done it already? Fear. Fear of failing, we call that a DNF (did not finish). Fear of suffering. Fear of it hurting too much. It will hurt. I will struggle. I’ll probably survive. I’ll probably learn more about myself during the race than I have in the last decade. I believe that once you conquer something so extreme, whatever that means to you, you will come out on the other side a changed person, able to take on more challenges, think clearer, and be more disciplined in all other areas of your life. There is a whole other world on the other side of suffering and overcoming your fears and challenges. The next hard thing won’t actually feel that hard.

I am grateful to be able to have a body that allows me to run. There are many others who either once could run and now can’t due to injury or accident, or never had the opportunity, due to mental or physical constraints, so I am thankful that I have the ability to put one foot in front of the other and whatever amount of suffering that I face while doing it won’t be as great as the suffering by someone who wants to do it but doesn’t have the ability to try. I recall from a race last fall that I did, there was a man who looked every bit the part of an elite runner, with no arms and two prosthetic legs, asking another runner to pin his number to his shirt for him. I decided in that moment that I had absolutely no business to complain during that entire run (and yes, he beat me). I am also thankful I live in a country that allows me to freely run, without cultural or gender constraints of what it means to be free and equal.

Finally, more than a decade into this non-commitment, yo-yo running, I am going to commit and toe the start line of a 100-mile race. When I registered, I was shaking so bad and closed my computer on the registration screen three different times. It took me about two hours of looking at it to hit the submit button. I still have all those fearful thoughts. It’s April, I don’t have enough time to train. I should choose a race next year instead. I’m not fit enough/skinny enough/strong enough. I should wait until I’m not as busy. I think the only way to encourage others to step outside of their own comfort zones is to be an example. So, please choose your challenge of a long-lost goal or commitment, or something that gets you outside of your comfort zone, and let’s find out how much we’ve been leaving on the table, and see what we can overcome next!

Here’s the link to the race if you’re interested in checking it out: http://www.hennepinhundred.com/

There is nothing like the feeling of being out on a trail, running free through the woods. I can’t imagine living in a place where I would not be allowed to do this. There are areas around the world women and girls are not treated as equals. Their rights are restricted or ignored. Many are certainly not allowed to freely go for a run outside. I have found an award-winning organization to partner with that works to support women and girls in areas of conflict through adventure sports to build physical, emotional and social well-being. They provide them with the tools to become leaders who exercise self-determination, challenge negative norms, and boldly reclaim public spaces. Free to Run members are community leaders, advocates, and role models in their societies, bringing people together across cultural, ethnic, and religious lines. They change views about the roles that women can, and should, play in society.

I’ll be running for something bigger than myself. I’d love your support to “Sponsor a Mile” for me on my 100-mile journey in October. This means you can donate $1 or $99, or any amount you wish. Each mile, from 1 to 99, can be sponsored. I believe that this will not only help keep me motivated throughout the race, knowing that someone is supporting each mile, while helping to give women and girls opportunity through sport, leadership, self-empowerment and community that they wouldn’t have otherwise had.

Choose your mile here: Pick Your Mile, then make a donation!

To find out more about the organization, please click this link: https://freetorun.org/

I appreciate your kindness!

Watch More Free to Run here by The North Face: 

Free to Run by The North Face (31 minute video)